Milestones of my life (For ‘Circle’)

What are your important names

And dates in your life?

Most importantly I would not

Sit here if my father wouldn’t

Have made me.

Probably on a warm summer night

In July 1939

A year before he had to become

Involved in the machinations

Of WWII.

What went on in his head?

Did he wish to leave something

Behind – a life – that carried on

As part of him

If he’d never made it back?

Probably.

I can figure out the dialogue

Of love between my parents.

 

The second important name

For me – beside my mother’s

And Uncle Joe’s

Was that of my grandma

Who cared for me when Mom

Was tied down by her business.

She was an optimist

Down to earth

With a heart of gold.

 

On third place I’d mention

Prof Borsai

Who supported my state of

Creativity in art and who

Recommended me to the

Fine Art School in Vienna.

But Mom was against the

Idea of her son becoming

An artist who’ll suffer –

As she put it.

However having managed

An university degree at the

Faculty of architecture

I’ll set off with my wife

To Afrique du Sud.

 

I should call this prose poem

Rather: Milestones of the life

Of Z.

As the first time sex was rather

A disappointment

I believed that sex with B was

Greater fun.

Well it was for me but not for

Her.

Hard fact of my early life.

 

Drawn to a bevy of beautiful

Women

I’d experienced eroticism but

Never complete satisfaction

After B’s rebuff of being unable

To satisfy her sexually.

Well I’ve tried hard but our

Disagreements of making babies

Wasn’t at the forefront at that

Time and perhaps that played

A great part in it as well.

 

It had to be in the later years

Of my life that I’ve met my love

Maybe the greatest love –

Anna – with whom I experienced

An almost perfect love: That is

The harmony of mind soul and

Body.

Looking back I am sure now

As she even spoke of children

If we would have met in younger

Years.

 

Romance of star struck lovers

Is something special indeed!

A whirlwind affair of the heart

The mind cancelled out altogether

For the child-like happiness

Uncensored by logic of course

Otherwise there never would be

A falling in love at all.

All the time when I was together

With Anna

I flew with her – two lovers –

Above the roofs of Athens

Soaring above the Acropolis

Where we had met

At the foot of the Sacred Rock

The Tower of Winds

Kapnikareas Street

It all stuck to my mind

Being raised to the sacred

Panathenean processional route.

Our feet walk the historical path

Of millions of people before us

Lovers who met in secret and

Commenced up the path to the

Most venerated site in Athens

Greatest monument of antiquity.

Besides the historical landmark

It’s a place of cultural inheritance

Where the great Parthenon temple

Embodies the foundation of

Western culture

Which could only happen due to

Greece.

 

This is the most important landmark

In my life.

It is the one to which all other

Landmarks relate and echo back to.

Where most important sculptures

And works of art were buried

To protect them from pilfering

And destructive Barbarians

And left two generations to

Discover their inheritance.

 

Anna

Buried in the Third Cemetery of

Athens

Together with others

Where I come back to

Time and again

And sense the historic places

We have walked together.

Since she had left this place

Her spirit remained.

Sometimes I can sense her.

She sends me dreams and

Prompts for my artistic

Imagination.

 

After the high-time with Anna

A period of depression followed

Where life and death had been

Profoundly analyzed and the

Purpose of life looked at. Then

As emotions waned somewhat

Used up by the healing process

Of time

Another stage followed for me.

The door with Anna had been

Closed in my face

And another door – called

New Way Creativity –

Opened for me.

 

Perhaps the artist in me

Called ZG had emerged

Who worked away feverishly

At his art.

It had sprung up from suffering

And thru’ the medium of art

It had a chance overcoming

The pain of Anna’s early death.

 

Meeting Mr.T was another milestone

Indeed. It certainly turned around

My life that had taken a route

I had never imagined it would.

A new practically minded Muse

Had emerged and influenced

My life

As B was not herself and would not

Take part in my artistic efforts

To make it in Greece.

 

An artistic mind herself

B designed a series of new handbags

And would compose its looks from

Portions of images on my paintings

But then decides to use waterproof

Materials with the images imposed

On it and use it also as a beach bag.

I liked her idea but we lacked funds

To establish her as a fashion designer.

She would have made it with a strong

Funding base by a person who believed

In her talents.

Every artist looks for a marketer

Like that.

Many great talents would become

Famous

If they had good marketing.

 

I thought of my Mom and indeed

As much as I have disagreed with her

Often

As much I had loved her too.

The special bond of mother and child

Had been deeply felt

Especially at her time of death.

In my case it was the memory of

A slide ride at an icy but sunny

Winter’s morning.

 

Anna: The lucky seven woman.

Anna had an obsession with the

So called lucky number seven.

First we talked about art and

Literature

Exchanging our thoughts about

Genres of writing.

Anna offered me an insight into

Her writing of short stories.

In time she revealed to me her

Life – until we met eye to eye –

With photographs and stories

About her childhood and her

Teenage years

Her love interests and her

Favourite Greek poets.

Most of them had been translated

Into English and she sponsored

My education with books she

Sent me.

Anna was indeed an excellent

Teacher. It all happened fast and

She seemed to run out of time

Teaching me poetry.

I thanked her for the daily prompts

And the stimulation for my progress

In writing poetry.

 

One of the magazines distributed

For advertisement

Featured a short article on the

Number seven.

The number seven is often

Looked at as a lucky number

And lucky children are all those

Where the seven features in

Their birthdates.

As seven is the first prime number

It symbolizes change.

People with this number of fate

Are spiritually blessed and they

Love to pursue philosophical

Mysteries.

They are neither possessive nor

Egoistical

But more benign and peaceful.

With their talent of assessing people

On top of their negotiating skills

They make very good mediators.

Money means nothing to them

And physical comfort means little.

They have a sharp penetrating

Intellect

But also play with the dream-like

Phenomenon.

They are blessed with phantasy

And at times show a specific trend

To extravagancy. (So far for the article).

 

As Anna was born on 7/7/47

She had three sevens in her birthdate.

Besides adding up her birthday again

Gave a seven!

Extraordinary to say the least.

Yet as she was talented in poetry and

Art history

She also happened to be a passionate

Lover and was the only person I have

Experienced the triad of love with:

Mind Soul Body.

It’ll follow me for the rest of my life.

For Anna – she described herself as

A social democrat –

Shared her love

Her food

Her poetry

Her juices of life

With me.

Most of all she shared her passion

For poetry with me and guided me

To the path of writing and composing

Play my talents of drawing and poetry

Create a near synthesis in the addition

Of artists before me: Lawrence

Breyten-Breytenbach

Paul Klee

Picasso

And many others. I should do a research

Into this at times.

Anna had – out of experience – suffered

From a relationship with a man who

Would not marry her after he made her

Pregnant.

He was married and would not leave his

Wife for Anna. Ana. Anetha.

She sent me photos and I could see

The pain in her face.

Having aborted the foetus

She married another man and they had

A daughter.

 

Anna cried at my shoulder one day

During the Twenty Days and One

When our relationship peaked in

Sexual love. An intense erotical

Moment

Our bodies embraced

She was seated in my lap on her

Armless Thonet chair:

Warm tears of love

I’ve never experienced like that

Before. I felt very close to her.

She spoke of fate not being able

To have met a bit longer before

When we were younger and

Certainly would have beautiful

Children by now.

The woman who felt I wanted

A child with?

Indeed. She wanted that too.

However fate did not.

 

And thinking of my friend Edwin

What was it all about?

He said that we are all here for

A purpose.

And my purpose?

To give something of my love

To a woman?

Give unhappiness to my spouse?

 

zoltanzelan

ZJG-POetry’18.

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